Shut Up, Stark!
by Sorores Animae
Summary: For all people who are like me and just enjoy watching egomaniacs getting told to shut it. Contains the whole team, but there's a darn 4-character limit. Spoiler alert: Tony gets told to shut up. A lot. (Now I'm going to get flamed for being Captain Obvious.) Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, my readers! For all you people out there who are slightly sadistic like me, I have written a story in which Tony Stark is repeatedly told to shut up by different Avengers, including my OC, Spectra!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. But I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!**

_Black Widow~_

**"**Hey, itsy bitsy spider! Guess what guess what guess what!"

Natasha ignored him.

Tony poked her.

Natasha reached behind her head and pulled out a handgun. Aiming at the space right between his feet, she fired a warning shot.

Stark, unfazed, yelled,"You haven't guessed yet!" Black Widow got off the couch and walked toward the hallway.

"Shut up, Stark."

_Thor~_

"Brother Anthony, have you seen my poptarts?"

"Maybe."

"Pray tell me where they are located."

Tony danced around the kitchen, yelling something about nyan cats.

Jarvis piped up."Sir, Miss Spectra has sent you this message on Sir Odinson's behalf: Shut up, Stark."

"Nyanyanyanyanyanya!"Tony sang, waltzing away.

"But where are my poptarts?"

_Captain America~_

"Hey Capsicle!"

Steve ignored him.

"Gramps! Stars 'n' Stripes! 90-year-old vir-"

Steve flushed, turning into a delicate shade of flaming lobster.

Natasha rescued him.

"Shut up, Stark!"

"Saved by the bell." Steve muttered under his breath.

_Dr. Banner~_

"Hey, Brucie Bruce!"

"Yes, Tony?"

"I sold your bedsheets on Ebay."

Bruce started turning green.

Tony held his hands up in mock surrender. "Whoa, there's good news too!"

He shrank back into Dr. Banner.

"What is it then?"

Tony smirked. "Your glasses turned a good profit too."

After a few stressful minutes of calming the Other Guy down, Bruce went back to his lab work.

"I also sold your spare boxers~"

"Shut up, Stark."

_Hawkeye~_

"Hawk hawk hawk eye eye eye Clint Clint Clint Barton Barton Barton!"

Clint's left eye twitched.

"Legolas!"

*Twitch*

"Katniss!"

*Twitch Twitch*

"I have blackmail~"

Clint walked faster.

"With video."

A vein popped up on his temple.

"_And _audio."

Hawkeye spun around.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

"Just saying hi~"

Two seconds later, an unmanly scream echoed through Stark Tower.

And it wasn't from Clint.

_Spectra~_

The Avengers were gathered in the entertainment room, sitting around on the couch.

Tony stumbled in, with _Shut up, Stark. _written across his forehead.

The Avengers subsequently burst into laughter, except Hawkeye and Spectra. Even the two most introverted and mysterious members of the team cracked a smile at 'Poor Tony.'

Tony still had an 'Annoy the Avengers' quota to fill though.

However, getting beaten up by Clint Barton, Agent of SHIELD, does tend to disorient one.

And so it happened that one Tony Stark made the worst mistake he had ever made.

He stole the book that Spectra was reading.

This, in itself, would likely result in being locked in a dark room with no tech for him to play with. And no alcohol. For two weeks.

But no. He had to break the Guinness World Record for biggest idiot ever.

He threw the book out the window.

It just so happened to be a rainy day, and the book was almost instantly soaked.

It also just happened to be 236 floors from ground level.

And falling.

Idiot.

The Avengers collectively fell silent, slightly afraid for Tony's existence.

Spectra slowly stood up.

She floated toward the victim of her oncoming anger.

Holding him up by his throat, she glared at him with enough rage to make Red Skull scream and run like a little girl.

Tony still managed to give her the classic Stark smirk. "Ehehehehehe...whoops?"

With a look of sheer contempt, she threw him to the side, departing the room.

The next morning, Tony woke up to the phrase 'Shut up, Stark.' painted across his ceiling. And his blanket. And the other pillow. And his closet. And the carpeting. And, well, everything on his entire floor.

What took him a while to notice was that he was completely bald.

When he did, his scream shattered a few windows.

**Poor, poor little Tony... If I have the time, I might make a few bonus scenes, but I'm all juiced out of ideas...**

**Reviews would be appreciated, no flamers please!**

**Peace, I'm out!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! After two hours of complete boredom after finishing a book, I finally got my lazy butt up to make a few bonus scenes.**

**Also, I would like to dedicate the Loki scene to my one reviewer, Lokitty! Thank you for the review. It means a lot to me that someone cares about this story.**

**On with the craziness!**

_Director Fury~_

"STARK!" Fury stormed through the hallways of the Helicarrier. That idiot would pay in blood! Or too many reports. Whichever.

Tony burst into the room where the Avengers were gathered, discussing the details of their latest mission. He dived behind Steve, startling the super soldier. When Capsicle tried to step away, Tony clung to his legs like a five year old.

"Tony, please get off of me." Steve tried to separate the egomaniac from his lower legs.

Tony just held on harder. "No! Fury is Furyous!"

Bruce sighed and tried not to facepalm. "What did you do this time?"

Spectra floated down through the ceiling. Though normally emotionless, she looked rather exasperated. "Stark, why the hell would you spray paint a picture of yourself on the side of the Helicarrier?"

Tony chose that moment to be sarcastic. "Oh my gosh, Spectra, you _do_ speak!"

Natasha promptly smacked him upside the head.

Fury threw open the doors, promises of hell and death blazing in his expression. Tony whimpered, still clinging on to poor Steve, who was beginning to lose feeling in his feet. "Spangles! Save me from Captain Eye Patch!"

Spectra sighed. "Shut up, Stark." She proceeded to drag him away by the ear. Fury followed her. The Avengers shrugged and started playing poker.

Five minutes later, a girly shriek echoed through the Helicarrier.

_Bucky~_

Tony wandered into a random room, only to find Spectra and Bucky playing chess while chatting, (unheard by Stark) about how many ways there were to torture the said egomaniac. Now, as we all know, this is the closest Bucky or Spectra ever get to opening up. So, following his Starky instincts, Tony decide to annoy the crap out of them. "Hey, guys! Guess who's the totally most awesomest ever guy ever to exist ever?"

Almost nothing makes Spectra angrier than being interrupted in a chess game by cruddy speech patterns. Especially if said stupidity comes from Tony Stark. However, being one of my best OCs, she never shows it. Instead, she leaned over the board to whisper something to Bucky, who (almost) smiled, but gave her a nearly imperceptible nod.

Spectra turned toward Tony, who at this point was starting to regret trying to annoy her, and muttered something he couldn't quite hear.

The next thing he knew, he was trapped in a large glass _thing_ that looked suspiciously like a ...pawn from a chess set?

_Oh crap._

Spectra picked up the piece and smirked at the (now) tiny Tony.

Across the table, Bucky shook his head. "Should have shut up, Stark."

_Loki~_

"I demand to be let out! I am Loki! Loki of Asgard!"

Tony waltzed up to Loki's cell, wearing a sparkly green gown, twelve-inch golden stiletto heels, and _waaaaaay_ too much green and gold makeup. "Hi there, Lo-Lo~"

At the sight of a (quite possibly drunk) Tony Stark, Loki retreated to the other end of the cell. "No! Do not submit me to such torture, I beg of you!"

Thor came down the stairs, wondering what the ruckus was. "Brother, what hast thou done to Brother Anthony?!"

Loki cowered at the far corner of his cell. "Make him leave! I shall be 'good', I swear it! Make him leave!"

And you, dear readers, must be wondering what could possibly reduce Loki to to whimpering?

The answer to that is very simple indeed:

A pole dancing Tony.

Who was flirting and winking.

Spectra poked her head in. "Shut up, Stark!"

**If any of you enjoyed that, you are severely messed up! Nah, jk. Please review!**

**And again, thank you, Lokitty! (awesome name, btw.)**


End file.
